A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates.
Saint1 Peter asked him, What have you done to merit2 entrance into
Heaven?
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, A week ago, I gave a quarter
to a homeless person on the street.
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after
a moment Gabriel affirmed3 that it was true.
Saint Peter said, Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite
enough to get you into Heaven.
The Lawyer said, Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago, I also
gave a homeless person a quarter.
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to
affirm that it was true.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, Well, what do you suggest we
do with this fellow?
Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,
Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell
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